Classic Rules For Dating In The Modern World

I was listening to a conversation recently between two young single women. These women were gorgeous. And smart. Extremely dateable. What I’m saying is – these are the ones you’re looking for! They were talking about you, Guys. They truly weren’t being unkind, but they were lamenting the lack of romance in their lives. I’m going to just say it – apparently, you don’t know how to date. Certain things never go out of style. Lay’s potato chips. Rock music. ’57 Chevys. And dating. Men have lost the art of wooing a woman. What I have to teach you may not seem groundbreaking because it’s not. It’s not new. But, not many men are doing this well today, and your grandfathers nailed this! Do you want a competitive advantage? Then why not consider my inside-scoop advice and try these Classic Rules for Dating in the Modern World.

First, I know that every date is not with your forever woman. But, one, this is about who you are, too, you know? Second, a little practice never hurt anyone. Last – what if she is The One? Any woman of substance will rightfully expect to be treated well on the first date. And you’ll want to do it, too.

Take her on an actual date.

Netflix and Chill is not a date.

Later on, when you’ve established a relationship, indeed, the ratio of “going out” to “hanging out” will change. But for now, you’re demonstrating your respect for yourself and women by approaching this with intentionality. It doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated – but it should show that you care about yourself and her. If you’re short on cash, make it coffee instead of a meal. A woman of substance will watch how you treat her during the date more than what it costs.

Bonus tip: Someday, when you’re married over thirty years like me, you’ll learn that happy husbands date their happy wives. Even married people benefit from rules for dating. Haha!

Ask if you can pick her up for the date.

Sometimes a woman is hesitant for a man she doesn’t know to pick her up at her home. So politely ask if you can pick her up, but offer to meet at your destination if it makes her more comfortable. Please don’t ask or accept your date to pick you up. Think about it. Are you going to ask her to hold the door open for you and hold your chair when you sit down? Of course not. This scenario is similar.

Show chivalry.

Here’s another rule for dating. I am an educated, successful, and career-oriented woman. However, I don’t accept the idea that chivalry should be dead. I also refuse to believe that because I like these things, I want to throw women back into the 17th century. I like being picked up and having the door opened for me. I have arms, but I would be grateful if you could do it. I like for a man to knock on my door and bring some flowers. It’s not called being anti-feminist; it’s called romance.

It isn’t your fault if you don’t do this, because the current culture has confused everyone. Here’s the secret. Women watch romance movies, read romance books, and admire the take-charge men in them. This doesn’t make us any less a woman or any less progressive. The culture tries to tell women that we have to think like men to be successful and robust. I don’t see it this way. We are equal but different, and there’s room for two strong people in every relationship.

Respect her time.

Don’t be late for your first date. Shoot to be at least 15 minutes early. Good women expect you to be on time, as it sets the tone for the date. The first promise you made to her was that you would show up at a particular place at a specific time for your date. You should fulfill that promise. That’s a good rule.

Respecting her time also means focusing on her while you’re on the date. Put your phone away, don’t watch the game on the TV at the sports bar or coffee shop, and don’t have conversations with many other people. She should be your sole focus while you’re with her.

Let Her Order First

Whether you’re getting coffee, drinks, or a meal, you should let her order first. Usually, the server knows this and will ask her first, but if not, defer to her.

Pay for the date.

Paying for the date allows you to show you that you are a man who takes charge and wants to treat her to something. Both of these are desirable qualities. Remember, who pays on these first dates doesn’t define the terms of the relationship. If and when bonds develop, the people involved can work to find terms that suit them. But setting the tone as a respectful man who wants to treat a woman well is essential initially.

Follow up after the date no matter your future intentions.

Follow up the next day. It’s courteous.

Let’s talk about ghosting. What a hideous thing, and it just shows a lack of courage and accountability. You, however, are a man of character. Therefore, there is no ghosting here. (Can you see my finger-wagging? #sorrynotsorry.) Most women you date will not suit you. That’s fine! Just directly and kindly tell her. I’ve heard people say they don’t want to have that convo because they’re afraid of what the person will think of them. Um, what will they think of you if you just stop all communication? People have said they don’t want to have that awkward conversation. Listen, you have a lifetime of awkward conversations ahead of you, and learning how to be kind, honest, and direct is one of life’s great lessons.

I hope these rules for dating have helped you. I know that I’ve been direct, but I appreciate directness. You don’t have to agree with me, but I hope you do know that I care – even though we may not know one another.

You may not be dating right now. You may be with someone, and wondering if it’s time to break up. This might help.

Post Worth Reading: Natalie Lusinski | Here’s What To Say Instead of Ghosting Someone