Thanksgiving is coming! I love it; it’s my favorite holiday. I have so much to be thankful for!
Sara Algoe, an associate professor of social psychology at the University of North Carolina, has been studying why gratitude is so important. Her research has found that appreciation is good for relationships and has “follow-on effects” on physical health. She said, “Taking the moment to acknowledge the things people do for us that we value actually has downstream consequences for both people. When couples express gratitude more frequently and descriptively to each other, they are happier in their relationship.”
I can vouch for that 100%! My husband thanks me every morning for making his breakfast and his lunch. You might think, “well he should thank her for that.” You’re right!
But consider what he does for me those same mornings.
- I leave for work before Bobby does, but he pulls my car out of the garage and drives it right up to the door. Oh yeah, he makes sure it always faces in the direction I’m going.
- He loads my purse and laptop into the car while asking if I remembered my badge, glasses, and phone. We’re both forgetful, so we cover each others’ backs.
- He waits outside, no matter the weather, while I get in the car. Then he kisses me goodbye and wishes me a great day.
- He doesn’t return inside until he waves goodbye as I turn the corner.
But…he thanks me every morning for making him a delicious breakfast and packing his lunch. That daily thank you means a lot to me, even though this is our routine. Even though he doesn’t owe it to me. Why do I need the words? Why does he?
Sweet words of thanks to your love promote a cycle of generosity. One says thanks. The other says thanks. And pretty soon, thanks are flying all over. And that makes us both happy.
I know he’s happy because he tells me so, and the evidence is in our words. Happy couples say certain words – did you know that? Here they are.
I bet your relationship could benefit from words of thanks and appreciation. Yep, I’d bet a lot.
Thinking of thankful words is hard for some of us. They don’t have to be fancy, but some of us can’t think of them. I thought I’d help you out today and give you some things you can think about. I don’t think you should use my words, but perhaps you could read through and find the ones that ring true about your beloved, then make them yours. But, if you use them word-for-word because they ring really, really true – I ain’t tellin’.
Here are some.
- Every parent’s dream is for their son/daughter to find someone who loves them as you love me. Choosing you was the best decision of my life.
- Thank you for all your sweet gestures. They make every day noteworthy.
- You are the dream husband/wife. I feel so lucky that you’re mine.
- When I was young and thought about the kind of woman/man I would marry, I didn’t even know I could have someone like you. I’m grateful for who you are and what you bring to my life.
- Thank you for bringing joy into my life.
- I’m so glad that you can be my best friend.
- The more time that we spend together, the better I feel. Thank you for allowing me to be me and loving me.
- Throughout the ups and downs of life, you never left my side; thank you for being my rock.
- Thank you, my dear husband/wife, for bearing my mood swings and tantrums and still loving me the same.
- Thank you for cooking so many delicious meals.
- Thank you, darling, for being a role model for our children.
- Thank you for all our beautiful evenings, just sitting and talking endlessly.
- You are such a Godly woman/man. I’m blessed to have someone who loves the Lord as you do in my life.
- It’s hard for me to thank you for everything you do for our children. Thank you.
- You work hard at your job and care for our kids, yet you always find time for me. I’m so grateful.
Can I tell you a secret?
Many of these words have been spoken, almost word for word, in our house. No wonder I smile allll the time.
Bobby, Thank you for being the reason for my constant smiles.
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It’s hard for us right now in this post-pandemic season. You might not be feeling thankful for much. You might be the only person who knows how you’re really feeling behind that smile. I’ve been there, and here’s what I know. God is our ever-present help in times of need. He is the One you can run to and ask for help any time, any day, anywhere, and for any reason. He won’t just help you in your trouble – He will help you with yourself if you need it.
If you want to talk to me about it – no judgment, I promise – leave me a way to contact you in the comments. I won’t publish the comment, and l’ll contact you confidentially.
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.” Psalm 46:1-3