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The Sound of Silence
Early in our relationship, I often gave my husband The Silent Treatment when angry or hurt. My passive-aggressive versus Bobby’s assertive communication style confused, angered, and wounded him. And he was having none of it! He would sit right in front of me and not leave until we talked the issue out. I wasn’t used to that kind of forward-facing communication, it made me uncomfortable, and in those early moments, I thought he was a bully. I shake my head now, remembering those interactions. Me, arms crossed and pouting while doing Cirque du Soleil-like contortions to avoid looking at him. Him putting his face directly into mine and repeatedly asking…
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Fighting To Save Your Marriage
They came to see us. We ordered pizza and got acquainted on the patio. He had placed his wedding ring inside a white envelope, wrote a note, and left it on the dresser for her to find. Over the coming weeks, we talked – but mostly listened. And beheld two incredible people fighting to save their marriage and winning BIG. It’s not always like that. Some call but never come. Others come so that they can say they did. Many have seen too much water go under that bridge. It’s not always true, but usually, the reality is this: nearly every problem is a motivation problem. I can usually tell…
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The Importance of Personal Accountability in Your Relationship
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A Season of Giving Grace to Others
An acquaintance of ours started a non-profit movement offering free yard signs reminding us to love one another. He posted it on our county’s social media page…and the war began. Within a short time, I counted 102 comments. Ninety-eight of the remarks were fighting with him or with each other. Ironic? Yes. Surprising? Big sigh. No. As I read these ugly comments on social media, I was insulted on behalf of this good man. Why the anger? Why aren’t we extending grace to others? At the same time, his responses – both measured and kind – filled me with hope instead of feeling overwhelmed by the inhumanity of the masses. I…
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The Love Song of God
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It’s Terminal
Do you mean it when you say the relationship is over???? So, I’m waiting for my take-out order at a local restaurant and out of the blue, I hear… HER: (Loudly) “What the %$#@? I’m so $%% tired of your &^%$! I’m done!” (SILENCE THAT WENT ON FOREVER) HIM: (Quietly) “What do you mean ‘done’?” I glanced over and recognized that he was having one of those moments. You know those moments. The ones where you feel that sickness in your stomach? That knot in your throat? Honestly, I was having one of those moments, and I didn’t even know him. I moved away from their table quickly because this conversation…
