This is an article from last year, with a few revisions. I think it’s worth re-sharing. The United Nations declared 2021 as the International Year of Peace and Trust. How do you think we did? I think we can do better. It’s up to us, really. I’d like to suggest that in order to do that, we turn down the noise and have a truly happy new year.
I have learned that the things to which we give our attention set our direction. And our direction determines our destination.
I Learned This Lesson Early
My husband, Bobby Martin, is a professional drag racer. He drives the race car, and one of my roles is the driver of the race car tow vehicle. Oh, boy. I DID NOT want this job. You have to pay attention or you can get your team into a world of trouble.
The race car towing role begins in the pit area. This time is always tense because there’s never enough time to get ready. I’ll never forget the day when NHRA official Jimmy rode by calling “5 minutes!” for the third time. He was calling us to the starting line, and we were not ready. We were struggling to attach the parachutes to the car. When I heard crew member Ron say “get me the hack saw,” I had to retreat to the tow vehicle for my sanity.
Then there’s towing the race car to the starting line. All the other teams are towing too, and you have to concentrate on keeping the tension just right on the tow rope while maneuvering around the fans. It’s even harder when Jimmy’s giving you The Side Eye because you’re late and you can only go at a snail’s pace.
But the trickiest part is the starting line. While Bobby is visualizing driving the race car to a win, I’m visualizing towing the race car to the starting line. Not the same level of skill, I knowww. Ha!
But, it’s not like it’s easy. It’s unbelievably loud, and crew people and officials are crowding the vehicle. The routine’s different at every track, but no one can hear you even if you have a question. And don’t forget the TV cameras, the Jumbotron (I obsess when I’m having a bad hair day, haha!), the fans who we want to please, and 4,000 horsepower race cars firing and taking off mere feet from you.
It’s intense, it’s exciting and you better be focused on where you’re going and what you’re trying to achieve. Remember, this is a race and we want to win. Everything else is just a distraction.
A Lesson In Distractions
We were in line behind a seasoned team approaching the starting line. Their tow driver was the wife of a long-standing veteran driver. As a couple, they are icons in the sport. She’d done this routine hundreds of times. She pulled the race car up, the crew unhooked the car, started it, and off the driver went to the line. The tow vehicle driver backed up and started toward her designated parking spot and…oh no…stop…STOP! She drove right into the path of the opponent’s race car. All action halted, and it was dead silent as the officials shut both cars down.
I was mortified for her. The thing was, I could see this coming. Everyone behind the line could. Despite her experience, she was not focused, and she headed into danger. I thought, “If this could happen to her, it could happen to anyone.” And, I was always hyper-focused on the starting line from that moment forward.
Relationships Are The Same
Have you ever witnessed a situation like this? You’re watching it unfold in front of you. You’re on the outside looking in. You know the players’ destinies, and they don’t have a clue. But, aren’t you and I often the clueless players inside the story? We’re rockin’ out to “Born To Be Wild” inside our head, thinking it’s the soundtrack of our life. But onlookers are hearing the theme from “Jaws” instead.
The last few years have been anything but peaceful. I’m sure you will agree. More than ever, there are circumstances stealing our attention from that which is most essential to our peace and trust: 1) God. 2) Our Families. For me, it’s been an excessive worry for our aging parents’ safety through this health crisis. And, dismay about how people are treating each other over politicians who don’t even know our names. The God part? He’s been my anchor. If you’ve been feeling untethered and are really struggling through this time, may I encourage you to anchor yourself to God? I can only speak for myself, and if you don’t believe as I do you are so welcome here, but He is my peace in every circumstance.
Back to focus. What are those things for you that are stealing your focus from your partner, your parents or your kids?
I find that things that capture my attention are generally distracting and dangerous. But things that I choose to give attention to are more likely to set me up for success.
It’s wise to take time going into the new year to ponder this. However. Then. We. Must. Act. The benefit of a concept comes from the ability to implement it. But HOW?
Call to Action for The New Year
Make memories that last a lifetime. The memories you will enjoy in the future depend on what you do now.
- Do fun things! For us, it’s been racing, foodie adventures, car shows, and open mics. Yours will be unique to you.
- Be transparent, and share the real things happening in your life. Being silent or sharing small talk does not build trust.
- Encourage each other to do things that you’ve always wanted to do. And be there for each other when it goes down. I encouraged Bobby to race, and he raised the idea of writing to me. I told him he was crazy. Twice. 😆
Spend loads of time together. Time is one of our most valuable treasures. There are many good things to do with our time, but often the good things are the greatest enemies of the best things. What better way could we spend time than with our family?
- Adjust your schedule. Bobby and I hold sacred one morning a week just for us. We call them Sacred Saturdays, and their purpose is for us to have a peaceful connection. I will share the link about these mornings at the bottom of the page.
- Cut some things out. When we’re rushed, we can’t give focus to the things that need it. It’s OK if the kids aren’t signed up for everything. Weekly tennis or golf can be done together or skipped sometimes.
Become best friends with your partner.
- Have fun together, and purposely create opportunities to enjoy each other.
- It’s excellent to have best friends, but too much of a focus on them usually pulls us away from the family.
So, what does this mean for me specifically? I will continue to look over my parents’ welfare but trust in God’s protection. I’ll spread kindness the best I can, and limit my intake of social media and news. But the biggest and most important thing? Focus even more on the beautiful people in my life who bring me joy!
God’s Opinion
Philippians 4:8-9 “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”
Isaiah 43:19 “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
Here is the first and second link about Sacred Saturdays I promised you.
Then, I’ve got a treat for you. If we’ve kept company before, you know I sing and that music speaks to me as nothing else can. Take a listen as Chris Stapleton teaches us that good love at home can make the hard world feel a little less hard. It’s called When I’m With You.
Happy New Year, my friends! Here I am taking my own advice. Awe, isn’t he handsome?
