Who are you listening to?
Jeff Henderson, a Pastor at North Point Community Church in Atlanta, recently said that the people you listen to are a preview of the future you. He said…the people you listen to are a preview of the future you. Let that sink in. I’ll wait.
It’s not uncommon for me to hear women complaining about their marriage or relationship to one another. I’m sure men do it, too. This happens everywhere – seated next to me at the coffee shop, at their desks at work, and on their cell phone – well – everywhere. And even among a group of women I am meeting for lunch. I have an interest in these things and hey they’re putting it out there in public, so I usually tune in to hear what comes back the other way.
I am not a counselor nor a professional of any kind. But I am a wife, and I know what I hope would happen if my husband were sincerely distraught and needing advice about our relationship.
First, I would want that conversation to be confidential. Honestly, when I hear these words being batted back and forth like a tennis ball with no regard for who is listening, I cringe for the one being discussed. It’s very wise to seek counsel, but it should be sought with discretion and respect for one’s partner. Loyalty is owed.
I would want the person giving advice to have some credibility. Let’s go back. If the people you listen to are a preview of the future you, who do you want to be? Are you seeking advice from a professional? Or at least someone who has demonstrated that they can work inside a solid and successful relationship over time? What is this person’s source of truth? Everyone has one.
Is what they say consistent with wise Godly counsel? For me, someone’s source of truth and counsel needs to be grounded in what God thinks. I don’t know what you think about God. You might not think religion is your thing. You might never have thought about tapping into the mind of God for wisdom. That’s OK. Just hear me out. It’s always worked for me.
Richard Feynman was an American theoretical physicist known for his work in the path integral formulation of quantum mechanics, the theory of quantum electrodynamics, and the physics of the superfluidity of supercooled liquid helium, as well as in particle physics. For his contributions to the development of quantum electrodynamics, he received the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1965.
In 1979, he was named the smartest man in the world by Omni Magazine. His mother said this: “If that’s the world’s smartest man, God help us.”
While I puzzle over the meaning behind Mrs. Feynman’s words, she’s exactly right. I don’t know what the theory of electro blah blah blah is, but I do know this. The smartest man in the world can’t hold a candle to the one who put the stars into place and told the oceans where to stop. The smartest man in the world didn’t create you. And the smartest man in the world certainly doesn’t know you personally, love you immeasurably and care about you and the situation in which you find yourself. So, for my money, if I’m going to listen to a person, I want them to be listening to God.
How do you find such a person? I would seek out a pastor, a professional Christian counselor, a mature leader in a church, or a trusted and mature Christian family member or friend who has a solid and successful marriage.
I pray that you will listen to the right people now. Future You will be thankful.
Important note: If you or your children are being abused or in danger of any kind, get out quickly. Worry about figuring out the rest after you are safe.
This information I wrote might help you, too. It’s about working as a team.