I dance to the Nancy Sinatra record in the living room of my aunt’s house. I have no clue what this song is about, but I love it! My cousin Barbie and I stomp around the room, me in my cowboy boots. She laughs as we sing and stomp. I spin circles in the space between the chair and the brown couch until I fall over. When the record stops, Barbie starts it again. And I stomp. And dance with wild abandon.
These boots are made for walkin’
And that’s just what they’ll do
One of these days, these boots are gonna walk all over you
Ya
I like the “Ya” part and try singing it just like Nancy. But louder. The whole thing is rowdy and a great dance party.
That is my first memory of dancing with wild abandon.
I read a study recently published by PLOS Computational Biology.
I skipped the BIG words but got this from their research:
- The ability to make spontaneous choices peaks at 25 and declines continuously as we age.
- Age is the only factor that impacts our ability to behave spontaneously.
- Gender, language, and education have nothing to do with it.
Greaaaaaat. Scientists have proven that if I’m getting old and boring, I’m not the only one. Where’s the Wild Abandon?!!?
I thought about it. When I was a kid, I didn’t know how my body looked when I danced. Or how silly stomping around the room in cowboy boots and falling on the ground after a good spin was. I didn’t have responsibilities and worries. I didn’t fret about rejection, and I wasn’t constrained by fears, conflicts, or rigid thinking.
That comes later, and slowly and surely, we stop dancing. We lack spontaneity, and we don’t laugh as much. In fact, more research has taught us that the average adult laughs 17 times a day while a child laughs 300 times a day. But – isn’t it ironic that the stressors that keep us from laughing, dancing with abandon, and being spontaneous – are also the things we need to be healthy and happy?
Here are just a few health benefits related to laughing.
- Improves your mood – can lessen depression and anxiety and help you relax.
- Improves your immune system – positive thoughts from laughter release neuropeptides that help fight stress and potentially more-serious illnesses. Laughter boosts the number of antibody-producing cells, which leads to a more robust immune system.
- Activates multiple organs – stimulates your heart, lungs, and muscles
Bottom line? Humor = Healthy.
I think my life has generally followed the same pattern as the research proves above. I don’t think I laugh 300 times a day. But, many singular choices I made over time added up to one big one. I Choose JOY. My life hasn’t been easy. Just like yours. I’ve lost people dear to me and struggled with cancer, infertility, and tragedy. But for me, God is my refuge. I know that many of you don’t feel as I do about Jesus, but you’re welcome here with me. And I hope that I’m always welcome with you, too. We don’t have to agree to love and like one another. I’m just telling you my story. Some of you have had it a lot harder than me. And if I had lived your story, I might even agree that I would make the same decisions as you.
For me, God is the one who provides joy. He says that “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” So, I see the joy in ordinary things and continually thank him throughout the day. And, this is a big one. I recognize God’s hand in my life, even during horrible moments. And I trust Him. So, I didn’t just decide one day that I would be joyful. But in the trials and the tragedy- and especially in the trusting – I chose joy. And this produces spontaneity and fun, and humor. I can’t tell you how much this choice has changed my relationships, especially with my husband. We have such fun – the kind that rubs the edges off many conflicts that could happen between us. When you’re grumpy, don’t you just want to fight someone? Anyone? Yeah, me too.
Besides reducing grumpiness, fighting and depression, it also adds things. For us and our relationship, it has added intimacy, laughter, and a soft place to fall.
Here are a couple ways that we’ve added spontaneity and humor into our relationship. I’d love to hear yours in the comments!
Private jokes
We have often said that if anyone heard some of the things we say when we’re together, they would think that Dumb and Dumber work for NASA. OK, I’m going to tell you one. Don’t judge me. One of us can say one word that makes the other laugh every time. Ready? It’s “buttock.” It’s just such a stupid piece of our anatomy. And a foolish word. We play with the term, saying it slow or really fast. We move the accent on each syllable around. We make up new pronunciations. We stick it in a sentence where it doesn’t belong.
I knowwwww. Dumb. But so funny. And in the ridiculousness of it all, we lighten the day’s load and just forget all the oh-so-serious things we also have to discuss.
I value my casual buddy vibe with Bobby as much as the romance. Private jokes remind us that while not every day we have spent together has been perfect, they’ve been better because we’ve finished them together.
We look for things that create spontaneous moments.
I recently purchased the 30-Second Dance Party. It’s a plastic button, powered by batteries, that plays 30 seconds of dance music when you hit it. The following morning, I pulled my hubby by the hand into the Living Room, hit the button, and as soon as the music started, I started dancing like a fool. He stood confused for a second, then started dancing, dare I say with wild abandon. Then 30 seconds later, we went back to the kitchen and continued making our breakfast. But, our smiles were wider and our hugs longer.
Since then, Bobby has genuinely embraced the 30-second dance party idea. Every time I turn around, he’s plopping that thing in front of me and slamming the button down! In the middle of a sentence? So what. On the patio with neighbors looking on? He doesn’t give a darn. So, I’ve decided that I don’t either. After the Patio Party, he thanked me for bringing such fun to his life. That meant the world to me.
Here is a hilarious review I found for the 30-second dance party. This guy is ree-dic. I bet he’s fun to live with.
“I’ve never considered myself to be a dancer, or even a particularly “fun” person. These suspicions have been mercilessly confirmed by the fallen countenances of family, friends and colleagues upon my arrival at meetings, parties and events. That is, until I ordered a 30 Second Dance Party button. Now, I’m the life of any button-induced flashmob that inevitably erupts in finite bursts in the boardroom, break room or kitchen. For a glorious half-minute, I transform into a golden god of techno-rave dance beats that put the trendiest, late-night, pulsating Berlin discotheque to shame. Sometimes I’ll push the button five times in a row to extend the euphoria by fully utilizing all of its sick, preloaded beats. My teenagers used to roll their eyes at me; now all the parties happen at our house. My wife used to merely tolerate my presence; now she is enraptured by my musically enhanced animal magnetism. While I used to be unemployed, now I run a thriving and wildly profitable business fueled by 30-second bursts of creativity. Coincidences? You decide.”
For your amusement. I dare you to stomp around, four-year-old Lori Style.
Nancy Sinatra – These Boots Are Made for Walkin’
A lot of us are struggling right now to be joyful. Sometimes me, too. I was fighting a battle when I wrote this. I hope it helps you.
“Praise him with the drums and dancing. Praise him with stringed instruments and horns.” — Psalm 150:4
“To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. This is power, it is glory on earth and it is yours for the taking.” — Agnes de Mille
“I have no desire to prove anything by dancing…I just dance.” — Fred Astair
“I would always rather be happy than dignified.” — Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre