Have you ever seen a couple, and you just know that they’re happy together? I don’t mean that everything’s perfect — when does that ever happen? But, they got it goin’ on, you know? If you pay attention, as I do, you’ll hear it in the words happy couples say.
Now, if you don’t consider your relationship to be happy or if you’re not in one, you might be tempted to skip this article. Sometimes, seeing a picture of that thing you want plays a role in you getting it. You can compare your current situation against a healthy target. And a good relationship can become extraordinary with a few tweaks. I know this is true. I can pinpoint the exact moment in my life that I saw in action the kind of marriage that I wanted, and I began to steer the ship in that direction. I’ll share that story with you at the end.
So, let’s peel back the curtain and study these words that happy couples say.
“What would I ever do without you?”
Or the man’s version: “Yeah, buddy, I sure married up.”
Over breakfast this week, my husband said to me, “I don’t know where I’d be without my darling.”
Happy couples give their partners credit for their relationship’s success and truly feel like they hit the jackpot with them. Rather than venting about all the wrong things with their spouse, these couples overflow with praise for everything good.
I break down how happy couples show thankfulness for one another. I’ll share the link at the end.
“You look amazing.”
Happy couples regularly remind each other how super-attractive they are. The attraction runs especially hot in emotionally fulfilling relationships. So, you’ll notice that happy couples got it goin’ on. Have you ever wondered the reason for my blog’s name? It’s because of the ridiculous number of times people have said that phrase to us over the years. Ha!
“You’re so good at that.”
So, when I’ve told him what an extraordinary driver he is and why, even in the earlier years when we lost every race, it mattered to him. It shows that I see him and admire what I see.
He does the same for me. He reads every article I write. When I tell him one is ready, he immediately stops what he’s doing. I love to watch him read it because he makes insightful comments, points out typos, laughs at all the right places, and tells me the parts he particularly loves. When he’s all done reading, he scrolls all the way up to the top of the article and starts reading again. I love that part.
“You’re right.“
The happiest couples focus on their partner’s strengths instead of dwelling on their shortcomings. They look for ways in which their partners make sense, have good ideas, and do the right thing. They see the best in each other.
And, when they’re wrong, they say it. Words happy couples say include a needed apology. There’s nothing worse than living with a person who argues just to argue. Our credibility grows the more we admit when we’re wrong. If you do that, they’ll listen more when you stick to your guns.
“You make me laugh.”
Have you ever noticed that happy couples laugh a lot with one another? They have private jokes and get each others’ humor. This takes years to develop sometimes, but it will happen if you allow each other the freedom to be who you are.
“I got your back.”
I got your back means protecting your partner’s back so that others can’t stab it while your partner isn’t looking. In a love relationship, loyalty is incredibly vital. Bobby and I have a hard and fast rule to never speak poorly about the other to anyone else. We’re both strong people and not afraid of conflict, so we address issues with one another. But when we leave our personal space, we leave as one unit.
“Can I help you with that?”
Carrying in the groceries, navigating technology, juggling things on your to-do list ― these feel lonely when you are doing everything yourself.
The happiest couples are independent, but remember that they are allies. If your partner is overwhelmed, lighten their load.
“Yes.”
A no for a good reason is healthy. But, adopting a generous policy of “yes” is equally beneficial. Generosity begets generosity. Charity feels good, both giving and receiving. Say yes.
“I would really like it if…”
Happy couples don’t leave each other hanging. Your relationship is not a test. Help your partner be successful by telling them how to please you. Do you want more date nights? Less TV? More sex? Don’t sulk. Respectfully ask for it, assuming they have your best interest at heart. Give them a chance to do better, and offer grace and time to get it right.
Words. Are. Important. They can encourage. Show respect. Soothe. Or not. The Bible says in Proverbs 12:18, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords (Ouch!), but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” The strongest couples understand the role verbal communication plays in a relationship. The words happy couples say can solidify their bond.
I promised that I would share the story of my defining moment. Here it is. Enjoy.
I promised to share the link about thankfulness. Here it is.
Find A Lot With Thanks And Giving
A post worth reading: Frank Hawley | “Hawley Schooled: Preparation, Proper Mindset and How They Play a Role in Race Safety”
(If you don’t know who Frank Hawley is, you should. He’s a famous race car driver and now trains others to pilot fast race cars. Bobby has attended his school many times for a refresher and was honored to assist as a trainer.)