This is an article from last year I think is worth re-sharing.
An acquaintance of ours started a non-profit movement offering free yard signs reminding us to love one another. He posted it on our county’s social media page…and the war began. Within a short time, I counted 102 comments. Ninety-eight of the remarks were fighting with him or with each other.
Ironic? Yes. Surprising? Big sigh. No.
As I read these ugly comments on social media, I was insulted on behalf of this good man. Why the anger? Why aren’t we extending grace to others? At the same time, his responses – both measured and kind – filled me with hope instead of feeling overwhelmed by the inhumanity of the masses. I was grateful for one Godly, gracious man. His sign is proudly displayed in our yard today.
We are all so very good at judging but not giving grace to others. I know when I say this I’m pointing at myself. After all, we’re talking about the human condition. But the real reason we’re so good at judging is that we do not know the fundamentals of how to show grace in a relationship.
What does it mean to extend grace?
Giving someone grace means recognizing or giving credit even if we think that person isn’t deserving because of a lack of standards and principles for how life should be lived. When we don’t extend grace, we end up pronouncing that person less than – less than us. And as a result, we promptly forget our many failings.
The Grace of Jesus Christ
My husband reminded me that this enmity between people has been around since the beginning of time. As soon as there were two people on earth, it began. It’s why we need Jesus. Jesus turned everything on its head and gave us unconditional love. Jesus was and is perfect. Jesus is the grace of God. He gives what we deserve the least and what we need most. Gifts of grace from God.
Grace always requires a sacrifice. For Jesus, it was death. For us, it’s our pride, wants, and anger.
Here are a few things I’ve learned about giving grace to others and what does it mean to receive grace:
- Grace is unmerited. Your husband or neighbor doesn’t need to work hard to “earn it” – Period.
- Grace is a gift, not a loan. Your husband or neighbor doesn’t have to pay you back for it.
- It’s probably costly by way of emotions and pride to you, but it doesn’t (and shouldn’t) cost others a cent.
- Once you give grace, it’s theirs to keep. You have no rights to it after the giving of grace to others leaves your hands.
Why do we need grace in our lives?
This holiday season and beyond, we especially need grace given the ongoing global pandemic. Receiving grace is just as important as giving grace. I believe the entire lesson of giving grace starts at home with bathing ourselves in what God says about love and forgiveness.
“But as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all earnestness, and in our love for you—see that you excel in this act of grace also.” (2 Corinthians 8:7).
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:14-15).
It’s a tough judgmental world out there, and when you give grace to others, you also give yourself grace.
God Gives Grace
If you are not a Jesus-follower, you’re welcome here, Friend. I hope you feel the same about me. If you are a Jesus-follower like me, God says that if we expect the gifts of grace from God, He expects us to give grace to others. Those are our marching orders whether we like it or not. Then, he tells us to arm ourselves with his “weapons” to be able to go out into this world and fight with love. God calls it the Whole Armor Of God. We need it because it’s a whole lot harder to love others than strike out, right?
Learning Grace in a Relationship
The lessons of giving grace to others need to begin every single day in our home. It’s hard out there, and especially now, with so much uncertainty, we need to be strengthened by one another.
Years ago, Bobby and I learned the lesson that would form the foundation of our grace-filled marriage. He said something, and I quickly took offense. This was not the first time this had happened. He looked at me, then said, “At this point, haven’t I earned the right to some slack from you? I’ve had a hard day, I’ve had to be careful with my words with everyone. I need to be able to come here and unload and not worry about saying everything just right!” I opened my mouth immediately to reply, then closed it. It was quiet for a minute. Then I said, “Yes. Yes, you have.” That was a moment of grace.
After that, we started practicing grace more and made our home a sanctuary where we can be ourselves, and many more moments of grace, or slack as we call it, followed. But we learned about grace in our marriage early on. It’s exciting and this particular story of grace tells about my car crash which, ironically, resulted in a new car I named “Grace.”
For the Perfect One, the divine Grace of Jesus Christ who died for us when we didn’t deserve it, let’s try this season – His season – to be more gracious by giving grace to others and ultimately, to yourself. Even when it hurts.
Merry Christmas from our home to yours!
A post worth reading:
Shaunti Feldhaun | A House Divided – Handling Hot Political Discussions Without Getting Burned
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