The other morning my husband and I were rushing. As always. I’m betting that you can relate. I was finishing up my make-up while mentally preparing for my first meeting. And there he was, bending down to give me his goodbye kiss. This time of morning is always a highlight. He left – and it struck me. I hardly remembered that kiss, and while I thought I’d said “I love you,” I wasn’t sure. I thought for a second, literally dropped my make-up to the floor, and ran down the stairs, catching him as he pulled out of the drive. His handsome face was priceless as I ran to the car window (He knows that I don’t run). He hurriedly put his window down, expecting goodness knows what, and I word vomited all that I was feeling. I offered an extra good kiss. And another one for good measure. Then I waved goodbye and went back into the house before the neighbors called the cops. Haha! From the Department of Make New Memories, I think I nailed it.
At lunchtime, I received this text from Bobby.
“Beautiful picture,” he said. Yeahhhhh. Isn’t it, though.
My husband and I regularly call or text several times a day. We discuss silly things, plan for our evening, or talk about random topics. Sometimes, he calls just to hear my voice! He says he loves my voice. Our relationship is four decades old, but we still behave as if we are falling in love with each other. I think we still are.
Is this something you would like to have, too? Here are some places to start to make new memories.
Take time for tenderness.
Think about it; in the past week, have there been any days without kissing or hugging? It’s easy to miss if you’re not paying attention. Show spontaneous affection throughout the day. Kiss, hug, hold hands, look into each others’ eyes, say I love you, and make sure they know that you mean it. It’s OK if the moment is so raw that you have to escape to the house.
Laugh over private jokes.
My husband is witty, and remembers funny movie quotes, and uses them just at the right time with just the right timing. Cracks me up every time. But our favorite private joke is called The Pie. It dates way back to a skit Johnny Carson would do. The guy says I dare you to knock this battery off my shoulder. Like a tough guy. Then he’s bombarded with pies. Now we say it to one another whenever we see someone who thinks they’re more fill in the blank than they are. Cool. Important. Smart. We just say, “He needs a pie.” Always gets a laugh. I don’t even expect other people to find it funny. But that’s OK. It’s our thing, and I like it that way.
The Pie Joke carries meaning and use. It’s a reminder of something that all too often gets forgotten when two busy people are in a long-term relationship. We’ve built a life together, and that’s serious business. But we started all this because we realized we had a lot more fun together than apart. These beautiful pictures when we laugh together are etched in my memory and make us smile long after the joke is over.
Pray together.
There are many reasons to pray together as a couple. I mean, you’re talking to God! But in relation to “beautiful pictures,” praying together allows you to be vulnerable and show forgiveness and grace towards each other. This vulnerability strengthens your love and affection. Those times of prayer with Bobby are some of my best memories. I feel such tenderness toward him when I remember them. Bonus hint: It’s hard to stay angry at someone with whom you’ve just prayed.
Serve your partner.
I get looks from other women at get-togethers when I serve my husband food. I enjoy going to the buffet, picking out food he loves, and sitting it down in front of him. Then, getting him seconds. I hear what you’re thinking in those moments, People. I do. But you don’t see what he does for me. We are BIG believers in serving one another. One of my favorite speakers, Andy Stanley, says that “marriage is a submission competition. A race to the back of the line.” Submission is a bad word today. Serving others is counter-cultural and frankly goes against our nature. But take it from me, “serving love” allows both parties to feel honored and understood. Let’s face it; we remember the people and the moments in which we have felt honored and understood. It doesn’t happen very often.
Write a love letter.
My husband is The King of the love letter. He’s hand-written me two. My heart leaks out of my eyes every time I read them. And it’s not just letters. I have a folder filled with short emails that he’s sent. This. This is important. Just the fact that he writes it is memorable, but in them, he recounts key moments that have affected him.
Relive good memories.
My husband loves to talk about memories we’ve shared. How do you make new memories? Start with reliving old ones. The night we met. Our courtship. The night of our engagement. The middle of the night conversation when we decided that he would race professionally (he’s a professional drag racer). On our anniversary, we watch our wedding video. Very mushy, I know. But it reminds us of the good things that have happened, renews our hearts toward one another, and encourages us to make more memories.
It might seem crazy to others, and maybe that’s why we’ve heard “Hey, get a room” over and over again. Have you wondered from where the blog name comes? But if that’s crazy, I will remain so for the rest of my life. I don’t want to miss a chance in life to see and love him. You are never too old to create memories together. Devoting time to making new memories is vital to a happy marriage and life.
I’m an Italian woman, and everyone knows that beautiful memories also come from hospitality. I wrote about that! Ha!
A post worth reading: Step by Step Guide on how to Write a Love Letter
