D E P E N D E N T

This article is reprinted with the permission of the author and a dear friend of mine, Hayley Decker. Enjoy! 

I’ve always prided myself on being a self-sufficient and independent woman. I AM WOMAN – HEAR ME ROAR, you know? And though this mindset has in some ways gotten me through horribly difficult seasons, like a divorce when I felt that being “self sufficient” was a necessity, it also created a dangerous form of pride in me that has been a hard one to shake. Unfortunately, I don’t think that I’m alone amongst my fellow women.

Let’s talk about being self-sufficient. We “can” do most things on our own, can’t we? And up until now, I thought that being fully independent and self-sufficient was something to accomplish in order to be the best woman that I could be. But let’s face it, ladies, we were never meant to need to be those things.

Like, seriously… Never ever.

In the culture we live in it’s pretty much frowned upon to say such things, isn’t it? But I have very recently discovered that it’s rather freeing to know that I don’t have to be perfectly kept together and sufficient in solely my own abilities and efforts all the livelong day. I can and should be dependent on God ultimately – in all aspects of my life. I can and should allow my wonderful husband to love me by providing for our family and even help me with things that normally I would most likely be a diva about and try to accomplish all by myself – let’s be honest. I can and should allow my family and friends to love on me, help me or give me advice; my community and even strangers to randomly bless me. It’s ok to not be a one-woman show.

I think we need to redefine the word dependent and remove the negative connotation. It doesn’t mean you can’t be fully and completely beautiful, sometimes sassy, free-spirited, independent, uniquely YOU. Let’s just remove the SHE-WOMAN pride and realize that we were made to serve and be served. To help and be helped. To love and be loved. To bless and be blessed.

I’m Hayley Decker and I’m a strong-willed, able and capable, usually independent woman who is learning to let down my own abilities and pride to be a part of something greater and stronger than myself.

NOTE FROM LORI: Hayley has given us a great example of a strong-willed, smart woman learning, growing, and flexing with experience. Receiving help…giving help…it’s all good. Here’s something I wrote about being a help to those marriages who are struggling.

Never Lonely With Me