I attended a wedding in which the pastor encouraged the bride and groom to get their PhD Degree in the other. It struck me immediately that Bobby and I have this kind of intimacy, and that it has significantly contributed to our happiness. I think the benefits are:
- We are more understanding and patient with each other’s weaknesses and see and appreciate each other’s strengths.
- We know the buttons NOT to push which reduces our interpersonal conflict.
- It is fun and relaxing to have our best friend right in our own home.
- Being known by someone is good for our health. No, really!
- Sex is much more likely to happen when there is intimacy in a relationship. It is a MUST for women.
- We can encourage one another more.
- We can help one another to dream and accomplish those dreams.
Most couples start out well, but then Marriage Drift happens. You may not even realize that you don’t know him anymore. Remember a time when you couldn’t wait to learn more about her? Remember when you’d stay up late and linger on the phone just to hear his voice a little longer?
It’s not even necessarily that anything big has hindered this – like adultery or some huge trying circumstance – you just slowly started to act more and more like business partners or roommates instead of lovers. Or, you realized you married an imperfect person and well, that was not part of the deal.
So what do we do when there isn’t a circumstance hindering love except for our own apathy or familiarity? You have to make a choice to love them. And I think one of the greatest acts of love is through communication.
Bobby and I spend a lot of time just talking. I don’t remember ever picking a time, but Saturday mornings just evolved. While we sometimes must do other things, we typically say no to other commitments in favor of Saturday mornings with each other. We have started calling them Sacred Saturdays. And to us, they are. We BOTH really love them. They usually start with sleeping in a little bit. When we wake up, we stay in bed a good while. Talking is on the agenda. Sometimes the talk is silly. Um, Fact Check. It’s always silly to the point that we say that we’re glad no one is listening in because they would think we are crazy. Sometimes it’s serious. And, it’s always soul-satisfying.
Then, I ask the inevitable question, “Are you ready for breakfast?” He always is. Ha! Then, because I am a Foodie of the First Order, I begin my ritual of making some concoction. Hopefully, one I have not made before because I like to cook new things that I’ve made up and he likes to eat -well- everything. We chat some more over breakfast, usually while lying on our stomachs on the Living Room floor. Awesomeness.
How well do you know your partner? How well do you think they know you? Would you like to have the benefit that true intimacy brings? If you need to get started, here’s a quiz you can take. Or you can just use it to help you with some questions.
Now, get your love on.
Note: I’ve added a section called Sacred Saturday Recipes where I’ve written down some of the concoctions I’ve come up with. Enjoy!
I also wrote about how to make your partner your priority in this one. See what you think.