If you’re me, sometimes you feel guilty because of all the tasks you haven’t completed. Then, I’m reminded that it’s good – no, right – to waste time wisely.
A few weeks ago, I was on a conference call discussing the software, KRONOS. One attendee was from Greece, and just like the way Italian chef, Giada De Laurentiis, says the word “spaghetti,” I could tell KRONOS was a Greek word just by the way it rolled off his tongue. So, being the nosy sort, and because, well, it was a conference call, I googled it.
There are two Greek words about time. Chronos measures time by the clock. It’s quantitative, measured in minutes, hours, and days. Karios has to do with memorable moments in time, like the birth of a child or engaging in a great conversation. Quality measures this time. You look at the clock and realize time has passed without you noticing.
In our love relationships, I think there are two significant areas in which we need to exercise wisdom with our time. In other words, waste time wisely.
Don’t Waste Time on Those Who Don’t Deserve It.
The first area is wasting our time on someone who doesn’t want to be with you- that person who only sees you as an option, not their Number One. Time is limited, and if you’re in this situation – I’ve been – you know it. You’ve just had a hard time moving your heart to the place where you do something about it. If you haven’t found That Person, perhaps you should free yourself up to find them. Be patient; you deserve someone who makes you a priority. You really do.
In the meantime, I promise you’ll be fine. I believe that sometimes we’re called to a season of singleness so that we can focus on what’s important. One of the best quotes I’ve read is, “Run as fast as you can towards God, and if someone keeps up, introduce yourself.” If we focus on what’s important in life, the rest will fall into place. It might not be what we expected, but we’ll know it’s right eventually.
Some people are called to it for longer than a season. I don’t think that being single is a prison sentence that you have to slog through to “get to the good stuff.” I know many single people who live an exciting and productive life, and they say that being single allows them just the right amount of time and focus to achieve their dream.
Pursue God. Pursue your passions. Live your life. Right now. There’s no reason to wait.
Go After Quality Relationships.
The second aspect is assuring that you don’t sacrifice life-giving Karios moments for life-sucking Chronos time. Yes, we all have things we must do like making a living and managing our household. But whether married or single, when we neglect the people in our lives for tasks, our relationships suffer. We might even lose people in our lives as a result.
In The Beginning
When my husband and I moved into our first apartment, in the interest of being “a good wife,” I was in the habit of picking up the house constantly. No sooner would Bobby sit a glass down; it was on its way to the sink. After a few weeks of that, Bobby told me that while he valued a clean home and wanted to work with me to maintain it, he also wanted a relaxed home. An imperfect home. And he wanted us to spend time together just having fun. What – you want me to goof off instead of clean? Hmm. I enjoyed the fun part, but I often had to work through misplaced guilt from not being what I thought a good wife was.
Thirty-two years later, we’re still having fun! There’s nothing I love better than spending time with him. We can while away for hours talking, laughing, taking a ride in his Challenger, listening to some good Blues music…so many things. Of course, we spend significant amounts of time doing for others, studying God’s word, and all the things necessary that will matter after our lives are done. But, I have come to understand that relationships require nurturing, and I’m not guilty anymore when I waste time wisely.
Life ebbs and flows, and there are more and less challenging times for everyone time-wise. If you have a baby, you’re yelling “Amen Sister!” right now, I know. But, in all times of our life, we always found some time, somewhere, somehow. Just for us.
I am more than on board with this strategy of wasting time wisely now. All I want is an extra day in the week called LetLoriSleepDay. It’d come between Wednesday and FreePieDay. These days would be added if I were President. Just sayin’.
Need some tips? OK then.
- Pursue the One Who made you. What better way to know yourself? Find a church, study the Bible, serve others – in these ways, you’ll learn who you are. This priority must come first, or everything after it is just foolish pursuit.
- Draw, paint, sketch, dance, sing, travel, see the world, meet new people, run, bike, swim, learn a new language, try an extreme sport – find something to “waste” your time on.
- Fight the guilt and the unfair expectations others, and you, have of yourself. If you have this kind of guilt, it’s not a one-and-done kind of thing. Keep fighting.
- Talk to your partner about your family’s priorities. Agree when you’ll work and when you’ll play.
- Free up your time as best as you can. When we were younger, we did not have the means to pay for someone to clean the house or plow the snow. But now, we do, and I’ve made use of that money. Do what you can do to meet your family’s needs. But if it comes down to it, balance is the key. Relationship and order are both meaningful.
I hope these tips help you.
Of late, my responsibilities have grown. Sometimes, they feel overwhelming. Exhausting. So, I wrote these tips to remind me, too.
If we spend enough days wisely, we’ll live well over a lifetime.
I wrote something about how Bobby and I have stayed close over the years. I look at the pictures inside and see that we waste time wisely pretty well! Have a look!
Just For Fun: Giada De Laurentiis Teaches Ellen Italian Words While Cooking Up Italian Food