Life Advice,  Relationship Advice

How To Stop Feeling Anxious Fast

It was April 2020, and my husband and I followed our usual morning routine of eating breakfast, watching the news, and getting ready for work. Suddenly, I started feeling sick; I was dizzy and breathing hard. I was just overwhelmed with anxiety. The news endlessly talked of the new virus and the number of cases and deaths. I was worried about my aging and vulnerable parents. On top of that, I was a key player on an important project at work, and a leader a ka-jillion levels above me had looked me in the eye the previous day and told me not to $#*& it up. I’m accustomed to pressure, but this combination of things did me in. It’s a miracle I hadn’t succumbed earlier to the anxiety.  I bet that you can relate to this story. Experts call this the Emotional Red Zone, and apparently, red is the “in color” nowadays. Sigh. I’ve been working to figure this out; I’m not an expert but I attended a seminar, read a lot and have found success. I’m sharing techniques that people smarter than me have offered concerning how to stop feeling anxious fast.

Here’s the rest of the story.

Bobby was off getting ready for work, so I called his name and helplessly waited for him to get there. When he did, the words spilled out, piling on top of each other like clowns spilling out of a car. “I’m-feeling-sick-overwhelmed-kinda-dizzy-I-need-you-to-help-me.” My good, good man sat down next to me and asked what I needed. I asked him to turn off the news because it was ramping my heart rate up by the minute. I fumbled for my phone and clicked on a Big Daddy Weave song guaranteed to calm me down: “Redeemed.” My husband snuggled up close and held my hand. I closed my eyes and listened to the music on repeat. And it passed.

The Zones

I’ve been learning about the Emotional Red Zone. It started with a seminar at work; then I started reading.

There are various zones – but red and green are the most relevant. If you think about a scale from 1 to 10, 1 is no anxiety, and 10 is the most anxious you’ve ever been. Red lands in the 7-10 range. Green is at the opposite end of the spectrum. The Red Zone happens when we’re experiencing the negative aspect of stress and any emotion we don’t want – anger, fear, anxiety, helplessness, hopelessness, and others.

We act and think differently in this zone.

How Can You Tell if You’re in the Red Zone – And Stop Feeling Anxious Fast?
  • Have you said or done something you later regretted?
  • Are you feeling unwanted emotions or physical sensations like a headache, backache, or a GI disturbance?
  • Have you ever procrastinated or avoided a critical task or decision?
  • Have you ever had trouble sleeping or focusing because you’re so stressed?

Chances are you’ve been there. Perhaps a lot more than usual lately. And when you are, you lose perspective.

A Little Lesson on the Brain

When in the Green Zone, you use more of the frontal lobe of your brain. This part of the brain separates us from other animals – it solves problems, sees all sides of a story, offers perspective, and provides us with resiliency and confidence.

Red is just the opposite. Our focus narrows to the negative as we go up farther on that scale toward 10. We can only see the scary side and lose normal perspective about situations and life. We’re using the brain’s Limbic System, which is the fight or flight part. If someone suddenly appears in front of you with a gun, this fight or flight response kicks in. Then when the danger is over, you move back toward the green.

This part of your brain is good for you; it helps handle dangerous situations.

But think about your life today and all that is happening in it and our world. We live in the Red Zone, and our stress has become chronic. It’s affecting our health, relationships, and our positivity about life. We’re losing our sense of perspective, seeing only the opposing side.

The Good News

Have you ever known someone undergoing a trial like cancer or a job loss, and you were shocked to see them treat it positively? I have. I’ve visited people sometimes thinking I’m going to support and cheer them up – and I get schooled. They’ll say, “I’m so grateful to still be here.” Or, “I’m thankful to have such a great family; I lost my job, but I’ll get another one.”

Being grateful amidst a trial is possible when we have perspective. And it’s evidence that we’re squarely in the Green Zone.

How to Move Yourself to the Green Zone
  • Stop talking! Nothing good ever comes out of our mouth when we’re red. We’re emotional, negative, and have no perspective. This is not the time to let the words fly unless we’re asking for help.
  • Take a walk. Do some squats. Exercise releases biochemicals that let the air out of the stress.
  • Listen to music. Have you ever heard a song that takes you back to a place when you felt good? Music is mysterious and has a potent effect on our emotions. We can use this to our advantage. 

So shut up, push play, and dance,? Hmm, that works for me.

More Ways
  • Avoid your triggers. Studies show that watching the morning news for 3 minutes makes you 27% more likely to end up in the Red Zone that day. Turn that crap off! And anything else that triggers your anxiety.
  • Do something that makes you feel like you. A psychologist that I follow wrote that if we think about the traits that we admire in others, those things we admire about them are the same things we like about ourselves. Stop and read that again. Take a minute to do think about that person and the top 3 traits you admire about them. Now, here’s the rest. Choose to do something that reflects what you admire in yourself every day, and it’ll take you closer to the green. Here’s an example. I respect kindness in others and like that about myself. So, to follow this advice, I might encourage someone who’s struggling, donate money to a cause, or smile at people all day long just to see what happens. Say for you that it’s tenacity; you could spend 15 minutes today on that project you’ve been avoiding.
  • Don’t fret about the future. This is the haaaardest thing, I know. I’m a Jesus follower. If you’re not, you’re so welcome here, and I hope I’m welcome with you, too. Thus, my perspective is this: God has a plan for my life, and it’s a good plan. No matter what. I had cancer years ago, and I clung to that. I was honestly OK no matter what happened. If I lived, great! If not, I’d go to heaven to be with Him. I’m not saying that my battle was easy and that I was never scared, but underlying the whole thing was this sincere belief that all would be OK. It allowed me to have a life-changing perspective.

After doing all of this studying about this subject, I thought back to that day in 2020. I asked for help. I turned off the news. And I listened to music that told the truth about how God loves me and is with me. I didn’t know about the science yet or even the term “Red Zone.” But the things that I now know that psychologists say to move yourself to the green zone worked for me. And it continues to do so.

People inside your home are living in the Red Zone, too.

How can you help?
  • Be aware of the signs. Hey, you know all about this now, right?
  • Ask them what you can do to help.
  • If they don’t know, move forward and try some of the things mentioned.
  • Don’t judge them; compassion is what is most needed.
  • Have an honest, kind convo acknowledging what’s happening and that it’s OK.
  • Educate them about the Red Zone, including the suggestions to get out of it. Pick your timing carefully, though. For instance, I wouldn’t bring it up in the middle of an anxiety attack.

It’s possible that being in this Red Zone nonsense has impacted your marriage or relationships. You wouldn’t be the only one; many relationships are struggling right now. But there are also many people fighting for their relationships and winning. 

I advised about surviving these rocky roads. I hope this helps.

“God bless you and keep you; God smile on you and gift you, God look you full in the face and make you prosper.” Numbers 6:24-26 (MSG)

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