Communication in Marriage,  Relationship Advice

How To Write a Love Letter

My husband Bobby has offered numerous gestures of love over our 30+ years of marriage. But there has never been anything that meant more to me than his love letters. Is there a gift that could offer more than a love letter? Think about it. A letter from a loved one is from the one you love. It’s unique to you, and your relationship, deeply personal, and the effort alone shows how much they care. Because I know what a Big Deal this is, I’m going to share how to write a love letter.

First, confession time. I have never written a love letter.

Awkward Look Monkey Puppet | Know Your Meme

But, I have perfect examples from Bobby to teach you (cough cough) and myself. Hold on a minute. Still coughing over here. Aaaaand, moving on.

Here are my tips from “the expert,” with some examples. But don’t use his words or anyone else’s. You can google and read others’ steamy missives for inspiration. Resist. If writing poetic words comes naturally to you, go for it. But if not, be you. They love you, and it’ll mean more if it sounds like you. The most romantic and loving letters aren’t necessarily the ones that are the most poetic. 

The simplest truths make the most significant impact.

 

Handwrite your letter.

Handwritten letters are powerful. They are more personal, thoughtful, and better at conveying genuine feelings and intentions. A handwritten note is rare. When your beloved receives one from you, they’ll know it’s paramount.

Timestamp your letter.

Your love will keep it, believe me. And as the years go by, they’ll want to place that letter within the timeframe of your life together. It’s as easy as dating it. Or let your words accomplish it.

In one of Bobby’s, he says, “Here we are going into our second decade of marriage, and almost our third of knowing each other. It’s interesting that it always seems we’re on the threshold of an exciting new adventure. I don’t think there has ever been a long period when we were in a rut or things were just dull or routine. Somehow I think this Valentine’s Day is special because it follows our tenth anniversary.”

The Mushy Greeting

Start with “Dear darling” or “To my love.” Or invoke their unique nickname so they know this letter is all about them. Don’t be afraid to get mushy. You want to set the mood from the start. Bobby’s letter in front of me starts with “Dearest Adorable Lori.” Okaaaaaay, I’m gonna read this. Stat!

Tell them why you’re writing it. Then, get right to the heart of the matter.

Is your love for them so great that you can’t hold it in? They may be so unique that they deserve your best. Or, you’re writing this love letter to honor a special day like Valentine’s Day.

In the next paragraph or two, get at it. Here’s how Bobby did it.

“…you are a special person with many special qualities that make you an ideal wife. That’s why I’m writing this.”

“First of all, I love you…”

“Along with that, is a deep abiding respect…”

 

Be specific.

You can get granular about why you’re super into the person. The more specific you are, the more romantic it will feel. Instead of saying how funny they are, call out a joke or instance that made you laugh till you peed. Ohhhh, is that just me?

Here’s one example, but there are so many in this letter. In fact, I’ve been sitting here reading my darling’s love letter instead of writing you. Gosh, this man. I’m having a love surge.

“You were one of the first people ever to tell me that I was somebody special. This is not the reason I fell in love with you, by the way. Frankly, I didn’t believe it anyway. But you kept saying, you have a wonderful voice, you write so well, you’re so smart, and even you’re a good lover. Well, eventually, a man is going to feel better about himself. And he must feel right about himself in order to love a woman in the proper way.”

Compliment!

Everyone loves a compliment, but getting one or ten from the one you love and adore? The one you yearn to see you? It can’t be overdone.

“But those eyes! It’s like a special surprise to find those lovely dark eyes under all that beautiful red hair.”

A little spice never hurts.

You can handle this one. Haha!

Last thoughts

It’s trite, but it is the thought that counts. Are you not poetic? Be you. Can you only manage three paragraphs? It’ll thrill your partner. Your handwriting and grammar could be better? You are writing a love letter to your beloved. They will be so happy.

Just pick up the pen and write that love letter. Please.

I’ve been trying to educate us about writing a letter. Here’s some info you might find helpful about how to speak sweet words of thanks to your love.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8

 

Something else you might like: Hannah Brencher | TED Talk | Love letters to strangers 

 

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