Perichoresis: Pursuing Intimacy in Your Relationship

Most people know my husband as a Champion Race Car Driver. But he is also a Corporate Chaplain; he is honored by and loves this role! He has recently begun exploring the idea of pursuing his Masters of Divinity, and is taking a course, Introduction to Theology, at Trinity Divinity School.

I’m very excited for him! He texted me the day he started reading his textbook. He said “My mind is bending. I’ve read 16 words so far that I never heard before.”  Then on his first day of class, he texted “Everyone should study Theology!”  He recently took his mid-term exam, and when he went to class, I knew I would hear about his grade on his first break. I did.  Here’s the message:

When he came home, I learned more about this word. It is a Greek word, often called “Circle Dance,”  and explains the intimate relationship among the Father, Son and Holy Spirit – an unending flow of giving and receiving among Them. Bobby’s professor explained that in this dance, people will hold one another’s belts or lock arms and dance steps together and in sync to portray this idea. As I pictured this beautiful dance and pondered the text, I thought about how this principle must also be true of partners in life.

The most important way that we have experienced an “unending flow of giving and receiving” in our relationship is by rejoicing and mourning with one another.

Perichoresis: An unending flow of giving and receiving.

I could not get out of bed on my 35th birthday. We had been trying hard to have children, and for years I privately had this day as a sort of deadline. My husband, of course, was part of this struggle and we faced it together, but I had not told him of this “Do or Die” date. When it all came down on me that day, he didn’t try to make sense of it or tell me what to do. He just canceled all plans for the day and climbed into bed with me.

Later in our marriage when I had cancer, he washed and blew dry my hair, painted my toenails, and spent hours just being my best friend.

Sometimes life is a joy. And sometimes it’s not. But being there for one another in those moments makes both of these times better.

I’m not embarrassed to say that when my husband got home from school last Friday, I waited for him to come through the door. I locked arms with him, and we danced around the room to celebrate his wonderful victory.

I am in you. You are in me.

I wrote about the rejoicing with each other part. Here’s how we use fun to be close.  Be fun. Be close.