Relationships Take Work

You Can Do This! Encouraging Each Other To Meet Your Potential

This blog is proof that my husband can talk me into anything. I was sitting on the couch reading one evening, and he started the conversation. Here’s how it went:

Him:   You should write a book. 

Her:     Whaaaat? I can’t write a book!

Him:     Sure you can. How many books have you read in your life? A thousand? 

Her:      That’s crazy and not the same thing at all. I can’t write a book. 

 

Two days later:

Him:       You should write a book. 

Her:         I can’t write a book. That’s crazy talk. 

Him:        

 

Two more days later: 

I was sitting on the couch in my jammies eating Mini Peppers with Hummus and Feta Cheese surfing sites about marriage. I found this blog post and it said, “Are you hungry? Yeah.” “Have you spent half your life in restaurants pursuing foods to satisfy your gluttony? This guy’s good! “Are you sitting on your couch in your jammies eating Mini Peppers with Hummus and Feta Cheese?”… Yes, sir! “Do you have the urge to get up and send me a thousand dollars?” Ha, ha close! I thought he was talking about me there for a second!

Ahem. That’s not really how it went. (Sorry, comedian Ron White. I don’t know what came over me.)

What really happened is that I saw a blog post asking if I wanted to start my own blog with step-by-step instructions. One thing led to another and an hour later, I had a blog. I let that percolate in my stunned brain for a while, then I showed Bobby. He was both surprised and supportive.  I had been praying that God would lead concerning a way that I could help others with their marriages.  The writing was never something I dreamed of. I never considered myself to be a writer. Still don’t. But, here I am. It’s been six months, and readership has grown 700%. Heck if I know why. And, I really am loving this. How did he know?

The same thing happened with singing, but this time my resistance lasted thirteen years. Bobby would tell me that I have a beautiful voice and that I should sing publicly. I would roll my eyes. Yes, I have a problem with that.  Then, he started sitting on the couch playing his guitar urging me to sing for him. Later, he bought me an amp and a microphone, which was supposed to be so that I didn’t have to strain my voice to sing over his guitar. Uh-huh. It culminated in me walking up to a mic, knees literally knocking, at a local Rock and Blues jam and singing Beth Hart’s “Your Heart is as Black as Night.” That’s a love relationship to avoid, by the way, but I digress.  I still can’t believe I did it. Now, I am not the best singer at the jam or anywhere for that matter. But, conquering that self-doubt, having the fun we do together practicing and performing, and meeting new, fabulous real-musician friends has been some of the best things I’ve ever experienced. How did he know?

My husband is a professional race car driver, and one of the things I have always admired about him is that he doesn’t think the word “no” applies to him. I’m going to drag race. You should sing. I’m going to teach myself how to play the guitar. You should write.

There was one time, though, that I encouraged him to follow his dreams. It was my idea for him to race as a profession. It was his dream, and years later, it is at the core of who he is. And now he travels the country encouraging others to follow their dreams. I tell the story in my post, Be There.  How did I know? 

There is nothing that makes me feel more loved than someone who knows me. Bobby knows my strengths, desires, and aspirations, most times better than I do. And he makes it his business to help me reach them. He also knows my weaknesses, and he loves me anyway. I do the same for him.

Conversely, how discouraging is it when the person to whom you have tied your life – who should know you the most – really doesn’t. And doesn’t even try. The world is tough out there. We hear no, no no, no, no. Do you know that Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team?  Abraham Lincoln lost twelve elections before becoming President. I can’t prove it, but I bet both of them had at least one stalwart encourager in their life.

Do you and your partner have a good understanding of each others’ strengths, weaknesses, desires, and aspirations? Is there anything you can do to help one another achieve his or her goals and become the person God wants him or her to be?

If not, why not list them and share them with each other?  Then talk about ways you can help highlight one another’s strong points, complement one another’s weaknesses, and help each other become the people God has designed you to be.

Here is the viewpoint of one of my guest bloggers, Hayley. She’s an independent woman who is learning that it’s OK to lean on others, even as they lean on her.

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