Get The Prize: Life Lessons Learned From Racing
Learn my husband Bobby’s take on marriage and relationships in his series “Life Lessons Learned From Racing.” He is a professional race car driver who also happens to be a terrific husband. You can read our racing story and see a 5-minute video of our first national win in my post “Be There”.
Lori
One of the best moments in my career came courtesy of ESPN. I was on a hot streak and was getting a lot of TV time. (To get air time in Alcohol Funny Car, you had to not only qualify for the race, but win first round. The TV coverage started in the second round.) It was at an NHRA national event in Englishtown NJ. It was a semi-final race (Round 3), so the coverage gets more detailed, even showing the cars backing up after their burnouts. When I was a kid, really soaking in the drag racing scene, I used to love all the cool words my heroes put on the back of their cars. Things like “Veni Vedi Vici,” “Hustle Town Chister” (on the “Chi-Town Hustler”) and “You Lose.” I was backing up in the CAP Avenger and the camera zoomed in for a close up on the back of the car.
There it was for all the world to see, “Run in such a way as to get the prize. – 1Cor 9:24.” This had become a motto in my racing as well as a life verse, and I felt it had a lot of impact in this situation as I was about to line up with one of the top names in the sport of drag racing.
“Run in such a way as to get the prize” wasn’t always my motto. At first I was more than happy to run in such a way as to run. Funny car racing was a big dream, we were in over our heads, and we were thrilled just to be there. (It should be noted that in this column, “we” almost always refers to Lori and me.) It was after several years of learning things the hard way that winning even became part of the picture. So I needed to keep reminding myself that while racing is really fun, winning is way funner.
It also really ups the ante in terms of how much work you do! But the verse isn’t just about racing, or any sport. It’s about life. You have been given talents, abilities, and resources with which you should do your very best – not just including, but especially in your relationships.
I think the tendency for us guys is to think once we’re married we’ve already won the prize. Hence the term “trophy wife.” But the wedding is only the beginning. You need to do and be your best for her every day after that. Racing taught me the value of a supreme effort. It certainly wasn’t in school, where I would just get by with minimum effort so I could get done. In racing, I learned that you have to give it your best just to get everything to work. Then you meet up with guys who are doing whatever it takes – including spending gobs of money – to win. You have to thrash just to avoid embarrassment!
I recently had the wonderful privilege of taking a masters level college course. With my new philosophy, my goal was to get an ‘A’. Nothing else would do. I did it! It left me wondering what I could have accomplished if I set my mind to it earlier in life.
My goal is to get an ‘A’ in Lori’s book too. But it’s a different kind of effort. I don’t see it as work, as in “we have to ‘work’ at our marriage.” It’s just loving her the best I can all the time, putting her above myself. As a human being, let alone a man, that’s not always going to happen, let’s be realistic. But when I do, I find that my needs are met anyway because she’s doing the same thing! Of course I’m not perfect, so it’s an ongoing effort. But she will often tell me she’s happy.
Win light!
Lori’s Note: He’s fab, right? If you want to know more about our racing, there are lots of stories here. Here’s one.
Here’s one that talks about a hard, but necessary subject. But…it has racing cars crashing. That’s entertaining, right?
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