The Unforced Rhythms of Grace

If you’re following along, you might know about Sacred Saturdays.  They evolved from my husband’s and my need to hold time aside just for us. The time that has worked best is Saturday mornings. The name came later as we realized just what this time means to us and what it has contributed to our relationship. “Sacred” in the name does not mean that we do something specifically related to God every time, although we sometimes do. It means that this time is a priority and it’s special. I explain how it came about and what we do on these mornings in the original story.

We’ve been doing Sacred Saturdays for a long time, and they’re perfect.

Buuuuuuut. This past summer, I saw a post on social media from a local health food store, owned by my friend Kelly. I was inspired to make a change occasionally to the way we celebrate Sacred Saturdays. She suggested that parents come in, pick up her kid-friendly snack boxes and go on the road with their children. And she recommended some places to go.  Kelly is a grandmother – the coolest kind of grandmother  – so this didn’t surprise me. I looked at her list….whaaaaaat? I have lived in the area my whole life and had never done any of these cool things. And one of them I didn’t even know about. Me. Yes, me who revels in typing “(everything under the sun) near me” in my maps app and just driving.  Me who has visited most of the “25 Best Restaurants” in my city. Ohhhhh…this was goooooood.

I immediately decided that I had to take Sacred Saturdays on the road. I wanted it to be a surprise for Bobby. I quickly perused the list, did a little googling, and narrowed it down to three options based on our goals for a Sacred Saturday: eat breakfast, spend face-time talking, and decompress from our busy week. It’s important to us that they be easy-breezy and focused on spending time together.   Because I’m well…me…I had to do secret recon first.

We’ve been doing Sacred Saturdays for a long time,
and they’re perfect.

Place number one is a nature preserve with a 20-foot-high waterfall accessible via a walking trail. It’s 5 miles from home. I had never been there, and it was cool. There were families there swimming and hanging out on the rocks. I think we should go there someday. But it didn’t really meet the needs of the mission. There was no place to have breakfast together without teetering on rocks (I’m not a graceful woman), and lacked the intimacy I was looking for.

Place number two is a regional airport only 3 miles away. It has a flight school, a museum, and an airplane restoration facility. Kelly’s post said you could sit at a picnic table, and watch planes land and take off. I found the tables, ate one of Kelly’s Acai Berry Yogurt Bowls, and soaked up the vibe. I shared my secret plan with the museum staff, who told me the best time to see planes in action, even their rare and classic wartime one. One of their volunteers, a WW II veteran, promised me a private tour. That man would have lots of stories, right? And I loved him at first sight.

This venue was on point for sure.  There were several picnic tables, and only occasionally did a plane show up. We would have time, space, and quiet to chat.  Then, we could finish up with the tour. Hubby had to work Saturday the next day, so our “Sacred Saturday” would be early Sunday morning. The museum was not open Sundays.  So, on to the third option.

Place number three is a 90-acre nature park only a mile from our house, and I didn’t even know it existed.  It had been donated by a local family to the community a few years ago.

The park is beautiful! It has walking trails, ponds, and sitting areas to enjoy the wildlife. Birds were chirping, and a turtle was oh-so-slowly roaming around…it was perfect. And it was open on Sundays.

I scoped out the perfect bench and BAM. I had our spot.

I planned a to-go menu I could make quickly and throw in a cooler. Then the next day, when we woke up, I told Bobby that we were on the road for our Sacred Saturday. I promised that it would be perfect (hence the recon). We headed over, but I didn’t tell him where we were going. I just told him when to make the turns. And we drove into this heaven on earth…

It was a perfect morning, and we headed to our spot. I pulled out the breakfast sandwiches and coffee, and we ate and marveled over the beauty of the place and the fact that it had been right under our noses. I told him about Kelly’s post, all my friend Google had taught me about the park, my idea, and my secret recon. My story included my rainy trek up and down the muddy trails and the less-than-graceful climb down the rocks to the waterfall. It was a funny and fun convo!

I had been working through a 30-day Bible study on my phone, and I asked him if he wanted to do it together by the pond. Now, I know that you may not think the way we think about God. That’s OK. This is my story of what happened. You’re welcome here with me, Friend. And I hope that I’m welcome with you.

So, we read the Bible passage and discussed the questions they provided. It was crazy to us how the verse and study, about being burdened by life, was something we had felt more than usual that week. This allowed us to talk about it and understand and help one another. Then, he took my hand and we prayed together. We praised our Creator for his beautiful world; and we prayed for the people we love, for the things we were concerned about, and for each other.

Then, he took my hand and we prayed together.

 

I love our Sacred Saturdays at home, but there was something about going outside the normal experience that took us deeper into each other.

Now, these things we did may not be your kind of thing. But this is your opportunity to take an idea in any direction you want. What do you have to lose but stress and that distance that might be creeping into your relationship?

Before I give my tips, let me tell you about another article I wrote about how to spend time wisely with your partner. I’ll share the link at the end.

My Tips:

• Remember the point of Sacred Saturdays. There are lots of good things we do with our partners, but the point of this is relationship recharge.  I wouldn’t go to a movie on a Sacred Saturday because a movie is two people sitting side-by-side focused on someone else’s story. The second person doesn’t even need to be there.
• Know what vibe you’re going for and plan accordingly. I wanted to keep the day much like normal – breakfast and lots of face-to-face talking – so everything was planned around that.
• It doesn’t need to cost anything. Or it could. No rules.
• A Sacred Saturday could be on a Thursday morning.
• What if you have young kids and can’t foresee this happening? Share this story with a friend in the same place in life and trade off babysitting duty once a month. One of the most important ways of loving your children is to first love your spouse and preserve that relationship.
• You can do a Sacred Saturday with anyone – your mom, your friend…everybody needs a Sacred Saturday.
• Know your audience. What will both of you enjoy? Or practice selflessness and choose something your partner will enjoy.
• What will take you out of “your normal” enough to redirect your focus onto each other? My three options were all things we had never done. But they weren’t so out of the norm as for that to take up all of the attention.
• Do a recon. Or not. I wanted the experience to be just right, so I planned. I think that’s a good way to go about this. However, discovering something for the very first time together might be A Thing for you. Do that.
• Be willing to change your plan. I would have postponed and held the secret close if it had been raining. And, we were having such a great time with God and with each other that we stayed much longer than I expected. Our service beside the pond became our church that day.
• Don’t be disappointed if it’s not perfect. Stay loose, take what is given, and it will be imperfectly perfect.

I hope my little story produces an idea in your brain like Kelly’s suggestion did in mine. I can’t wait to send her this post because it will be the first time she’ll know just what she did for our marriage that day. And for you, perhaps?

One of the most important ways of loving your children well is loving your spouse well first and preserving that relationship.

Here are the Bible verse and questions we dove into that morning. Isn’t it something that the writings that were presented to me on this exact day (not even the day we usually do this) were perfect, not only for our exact situation that week but also for a Sacred Saturday?????

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30 The Message

I’ve been pondering that phrase, learn the unforced rhythms of grace. Every time I ponder it more is revealed. Just like all of the best life lessons. Won’t you ponder it with me?

Here’s the link I promised:

Waste Time Wisely