Life Advice

Turn Down the Noise For a Peaceful 2021

December 2, 2020 / 27 Comments
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The United Nations declared 2021 as the International Year of Peace and Trust. And as the International Year of Fruits and Vegetables.  This “new year’s resolution” was profound for a hot minute, but now I feel like an investigative journalist on minutia.

I like fruits and vegetables; they’re good for me and all. But if we’re measuring those against peace and trust, the P&T weighs in like a hippopotamus on a seesaw. I’m looking for a peaceful 2021.

I have learned that the things to which we give our attention set our direction. And our direction determines our destination.

I Learned This Lesson Early

My husband, Bobby Martin, is a professional drag racer. He drives the race car, and one of my roles is the driver of the race car tow vehicle. Oh, boy. I DID NOT want this job. You have to pay attention or you can get your team into a world of trouble.

The race car towing role begins in the pit area. This time is always tense because there’s never enough time to get ready. I’ll never forget the day when NHRA official Jimmy rode by calling “5 minutes!” for the third time. We were struggling to attach the parachutes to the car. When I heard crew member Ron say “get me the hack saw,” I had to retreat to the tow vehicle for my sanity.

Then there’s towing the race car to the starting line. All the other teams are towing too, and fans are everywhere! It’s even harder when Jimmy’s giving you The Side Eye.

But the trickiest part is the starting line. While Bobby is visualizing driving the race car to a win, I’m visualizing towing the race car to the starting line. Not the same level of skill, I knowww. Ha!

But, it’s not like it’s easy. It’s unbelievably loud, and crew people and officials are crowding the vehicle. The routine’s different at every track, but no one can hear you even if you have a question. And don’t forget the TV cameras, the fans, and 4,000 horsepower race cars firing and taking off mere feet from you. It’s intense, it’s exciting and you better be focused on where you’re going and what you’re trying to achieve.

How The Story Went Down

We were in line behind a seasoned team approaching the starting line. Their tow driver pulled the race car up, the crew unhooked the car, started it, and off the driver went to the line. The tow vehicle driver backed up and started toward her designated parking spot and…oh no…stop…STOP!  She drove right into the path of the opponent’s race car. All action halted, and it was dead silent as the officials shut both cars down.

I was mortified for her. The thing was, I could see this coming. Everyone behind the line could. Despite her experience, she was not focused, and she headed into danger.

Relationships Are The Same

Have you ever witnessed a situation like this? You’re watching it unfold in front of you. You know the players’ destinies, and they don’t have a clue. But, aren’t you and I often the clueless players inside the story? We’re rockin’ out to “Born To Be Wild” inside our head, thinking it’s the soundtrack of our life. But onlookers hear the theme from “Jaws” instead.

2020 has been anything but peaceful. I’m sure you will agree. More than ever, there are circumstances stealing our attention from that which is most essential to our peace and trust: Our Families. For me, it’s been an excessive worry for our aging parents’ safety through this health crisis. And, dismay about how people are treating each other over politicians who don’t even know our names.

What are those things for you that are stealing your focus from your partner? Your parents? Your kids?

I find that things that capture my attention are generally distracting and dangerous. But things that I choose to give attention to are more likely to set me up for success.

It’s wise to take time going into the new year to ponder this. However. Then. We. Must. Act. The benefit of a concept comes from the ability to implement it. But HOW?

Call to Action for 2021

Make memories that last a lifetime. The memories you will enjoy in the future depend on what you do now.

  • Do fun things! For us, it’s been racing, foodie adventures, car shows, and open mics. Yours will be unique to you.
  • Be transparent, and share the real things happening in your life. Being silent or sharing small talk does not build trust.
  • Encourage each other to do things that you’ve always wanted to do. And be there for each other when it goes down. I encouraged Bobby to race, and he raised the idea of writing to me. I told him he was crazy. Twice. 😆

Spend loads of time together. Time is one of our most valuable treasures. There are many good things to do with our time, but often the good things are the greatest enemies of the best things. What better way could we spend time than with our family?

  • Adjust your schedule. Bobby and I hold sacred one morning a week just for us. We call them Sacred Saturdays, and their purpose is for us to have a peaceful connection. I will share the link about these mornings at the bottom of the page.
  • Cut some things out. When we’re rushed, we can’t give focus to the things that need it. It’s OK if the kids aren’t signed up for everything. Weekly tennis or golf can be done together or skipped sometimes.

Become best friends with your partner.

  • Have fun together, and purposely create opportunities to enjoy each other.
  • It’s excellent to have best friends, but too much of a focus on them usually pulls us away from the family.

So, what does this mean for me specifically? I will continue to look over my parents’ welfare but try to trust more in God’s protection. I’ll spread kindness the best I can, and limit my intake of social media and news. But the biggest and most important thing? Focus even more on the beautiful people in my life who bring me joy!

God’s Opinion

Philippians 4:8-9 “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”

Isaiah 43:19 “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

Here is the first and second link about Sacred Saturdays I promised you.

Then, I’ve got a treat for you. If we’ve kept company before, you know I sing and that music speaks to me as nothing else can. Take a listen as Chris Stapleton teaches us that good love at home can make the hard world feel a little less hard. It’s called When I’m With You.

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27 Comments

  • Rhonda Ficca

    December 31, 2020 at 1:19 pm Reply

    Lori, you have a wonderful, writing style that is so pleasant and enjoyable to read. I love your analogies and practical, positive suggestions. May the good Lord continue to bless you and your dear husband Bobby.
    Love you both and your dear parents.

    Rhonda Ficca

  • Teresa St.Esprit

    December 31, 2020 at 1:43 pm Reply

    Love reading your stories and the connection to relationships I’ve got behind on reading your stories time to catch up love you guys happy new year

  • Laura

    December 31, 2020 at 9:02 pm Reply

    I always wondered about how you felt while your hubby raced. You guys have such an amazing connection that he probably feels you beside him racing down the track! Many blessings for 2021 my friend!!

  • Taunya Harvey

    January 1, 2021 at 1:26 pm Reply

    Lori, I knew you were a writer from the moment i read one of your stories, not too much of a reader but appreciate your gift. Much love to you and your husband!

  • Laura

    January 1, 2021 at 6:13 pm Reply

    I agree whole heartedly with this. Kevin truly is my absolute best friend we do so much together, we are very supportive of each other and communication is awesome. Well other than the normal misunderstandings because he’s British …. but I am still learning and love learning the different ways of saying things.

  • Debra McCowin

    January 6, 2021 at 7:55 pm Reply

    So much of what is called ‘fun’ and ‘entertainment’ and ‘harmless’ takes a toll on the relationships in our lives that matter most. Time spent with all the ‘noise’ is not time well spent.

  • Jennifer Sproull

    January 7, 2021 at 1:59 pm Reply

    I really enjoyed reading your positive thoughts and outlook while the world currently has been negative. I agree that if we just focus our time on memories, the people we love most, and really being aware of what is grabbing our attention we can continue through these hard times. I like how explained things simply but with enough explanation to really get one thinking. Sometimes we all just need to take a minute to think more deeply about what we hope for in the future especially with a new year upon us – including me : )!

  • Carolyn

    January 19, 2021 at 7:39 pm Reply

    2020 was definitely a year that tested James and me. I hope that 2021 brings us peace and more quality time together vs just being stuck in a house! Love you lots.

  • Katie

    January 24, 2021 at 2:03 pm Reply

    Love the analogy between relationships and racing. It’s definitely important to stay focused on what really matters and take time to appreciate the little things!!

  • Megan

    May 22, 2021 at 9:18 am Reply

    I’ve been having the problem lately of focusing too much on the dangers and not enough on the good things. I’m very good at avoiding these dangers. I probably wouldn’t have driven out in front of the other car, for example, but I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy anything about that race either for fear of catastrophe. So as we exit the catastrophe of 2020, I’m working on paying attention to what I’m enjoying in my life. Thanks for the reminder!

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