Being Faithful in a Relationship: What Ari Mahler the Jewish Pittsburgh Nurse Teaches Us

On October 27, 2018, Robert Bowers was charged with the Tree of Life massacre. He had walked into The Tree of Life Synagogue in the Squirrel Hill neighborhood of Pittsburgh with an AR-15 and three handguns yelling “All Jews must die! Death to the Jews!” And tragically, eleven did.

Robert Bowers was critically injured and transported to Pittsburgh’s Allegheny General Hospital for treatment. He continued his verbal rampage at the hospital’s ER department. I can’t even imagine that scene.

Here’s how the President of the hospital, Dr. Jeff Cohen of Allegheny General, described it. He’s Jewish by the way. This heart-rending story received worldwide coverage, but what happened next is a universal lesson in faithful relationships.

Ari Mahler – A Faithful Nurse Story

Ari Mahler one of the nurses from Pittsburgh hailed as “The Jewish Nurse” took care of the perpetrator of the mass murderers without knowing the fate of his parents who are members of the synagogue. Mahler’s been hailed as a hero.

Wow. What makes a man say these things, show love despite his very real and conflicting personal feelings and fear?  What kind of a man feels compassion for others regardless of their action?

God’s Law is Love

To understand Ari Mahler’s faithfulness, let’s look at this quote: “Love is why I did it…love as an action is more powerful than words, and love in the face of evil gives others hope. It demonstrates humanity; it reaffirms why we’re all here…If my actions mean anything, love means everything.”

Ari Mahler’s act of faithfulness stemmed from deep religious faith. His actions are also inspired by the core values in the bible or the importance of the fruit of the spirit. God produces these “fruits” in us if we know him. Our relationships benefit greatly from emulating these biblical values of https://heygetaroom.net/hard-truth-and-ridiculous-grace/ove, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. You may not believe in the Bible. Or even God. That’s OK. You’re welcome here with me and I hope you feel the same about me.

Why is Faithfulness Important in a Relationship – Ari Mahler

Here’s what Ari Mahler said about treating Robert Bowers in the wake of the Pittsburgh Synagogue Shooting:

“…So now, here I am, The Jewish Nurse that cared for Robert Bowers. I’ve watched them talk about me on CNN, Fox News, Anderson Cooper, PBS, and the local news stations. I’ve read articles mentioning me in the NY Times and the Washington Post. The fact that I did my job, a job that requires compassion and empathy over everything, is newsworthy to people because I’m Jewish. Even more so because my dad’s a Rabbi.

To be honest, I didn’t see evil when I looked into Robert Bower’s eyes. I saw something else. I can’t go into the details of our interactions because of HIPAA. I can tell you that as his nurse, or anyone’s nurse, my care is given through kindness, my actions are measured with empathy, and regardless of the person you may be when you’re not in my care, each breath you take is more beautiful than the last when you’re lying on my stretcher. This was the same Robert Bowers that just committed mass homicide. The Robert Bowers who instilled panic in my heart worrying my parents were two of his 11 victims less than an hour before his arrival.

I’m sure he had no idea I was Jewish. Why thank a Jewish nurse, when 15 minutes beforehand, you’d shoot me in the head with no remorse? I didn’t say a word to him about my religion. I chose not to say anything to him the entire time. I wanted him to feel compassion. I chose to show him empathy. I felt that the best way to honor his victims was for a Jew to prove him wrong…”

Sometimes people do terrible things. Sometimes they betray and disappoint us. Even good people will. The best people. Even people who love us. I am sure even Ari Mahler has disappointed someone in his life because you cannot be a human being without doing so. I have disappointed people I love. You have, too.

Being Faithful to God

Why is faithfulness important in our relationship with God? Because you can take your eyes off of them. Off of me. And hope to God that people take their eyes off of you when you are not at your best.  Let’s look up instead to the one who has never disappointed us.

Faithfulness came from the one who created us and he has promised that when we know him, he will fill us with his fruits – like faithfulness. God is faithful to all His promises.

What is Being Faithful in a Relationship? 

• Decide you will stay faithful to your partner no matter what.
• It’s being intentional with words that can destroy a relationship.  Sometimes in the heat of an argument, we say things like “I’m done” or “I want a divorce” or things we may not even mean at the moment because we’re angry. Instead, read this post on things couples should say to each other which can save your relationship.
•  Be a listening and present ear with the intention of being fully committed to your union with one another. This is also an important marriage preparation tip.
• Your actions should demonstrate that your partner is your priority over your job, other people, and other passions – these are signs of unconditional love.
• If you are tempted to be unfaithful, talk with a trusted mentor. Don’t be quiet about your struggling relationship – things like this take root in hidden places.

It isn’t easy to cultivate the Fruit of the Spirit in our relationships. Usually, it looks like dying to our own wants and inclinations by putting the other person first. Faithfulness is haaaard but it cannot be underestimated. Dr. Cohen and Ari Mahler showed us what is loyalty in a relationship – it’s loving without expectations. Most of all, God shows us by being faithful to us. We need to think like a team.

This picture is of my mom and dad on yet another visit to the ER. This time for my Dad. They have managed to “stay” for 60 years. The benefits of being faithful are worth it. 

Read this post if you’re struggling with the idea of a faithful relationship or the right love.

And if you’re struggling with feeling valued in your relationship or improving communication, help is on the way…right now!

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