• Relationship Advice

    Not Dead Yet

    This is the beginning of my last year in my 50s. One look in the mirror tells me I’m not 18 anymore, but there are better ways to measure our lives. I’m gonna make this opportunity count. I’m not dead yet. Every decade has had its share of trials, but not without a side of JOY. This one is no exception. This is the decade I took pride down to the mat. I’ve always described myself as a perfectionist. I told myself and others that I didn’t want to do something unless I could “do it with excellence.” You know what they say about humble brag…actually is that a thing…

  • Relationship Advice

    How To Create Emotional Safety in Your Relationship

    My husband is a championship-level professional drag racer and licensed in three classes. Here’s a picture of his current ride, a Nostalgia Front Engine “slingshot” Dragster.   These race cars push three and a half g’s when they leave the starting line, and push him hard into the seat! They’re so fast that he needs a parachute to stop them. When the parachute blossoms, it causes three and a half g’s and throws his body forward. This force is one reason why very tight seatbelts are necessary. The Science of Parachutes Just like you feel resistance when walking through a pool filled with water, a similar effect can be felt…

  • Communication in Marriage,  Relationship Advice

    Love is a battlefield. But it doesn’t have to be.

    Love is a battlefield. There. I said it. But it doesn’t always need to be. Is it annoying when your partner throws their socks on the floor next to the laundry basket every night? Sure, maybe. Is that as bad as their tendency to speak poorly about you to their friends? Almost certainly not. Some issues in a relationship merit attention, even serious discussion with your partner; others don’t. The difficulty arises when you have to decipher between the two. The internet is full of specific lists counseling us on all the things we must talk about and get right in our relationships. The fact of the matter is, I…

  • Life Advice,  Relationship Advice

    How To Stop Feeling Anxious Fast

    It was April 2020, and my husband and I followed our usual morning routine of eating breakfast, watching the news, and getting ready for work. Suddenly, I started feeling sick; I was dizzy and breathing hard. I was just overwhelmed with anxiety. The news endlessly talked of the new virus and the number of cases and deaths. I was worried about my aging and vulnerable parents. On top of that, I was a key player on an important project at work, and a leader a ka-jillion levels above me had looked me in the eye the previous day and told me not to $#*& it up. I’m accustomed to pressure,…