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The Sound of Silence
Early in our relationship, I often gave my husband The Silent Treatment when angry or hurt. My passive-aggressive versus Bobby’s assertive communication style confused, angered, and wounded him. And he was having none of it! He would sit right in front of me and not leave until we talked the issue out. I wasn’t used to that kind of forward-facing communication, it made me uncomfortable, and in those early moments, I thought he was a bully. I shake my head now, remembering those interactions. Me, arms crossed and pouting while doing Cirque du Soleil-like contortions to avoid looking at him. Him putting his face directly into mine and repeatedly asking…
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How To Tell Your Girl She’s Beautiful
“It’s not you. It’s me.” In our culture, the standards for womanly beauty are hard to attain and so unkind. Whether little girls, teens or “prime women,” we’re told we’re imperfect and undesirable. These messages are fired like arrows into our souls until, deep down, we feel like we’re not enough. Can’t possibly be attractive. This is why you must tell your girl she’s beautiful. This is rubbish, by the way. I know this; you know this. How do I know this? God says so. It’s OK if you don’t think the way I do about God. You’re welcome here, and I hope I’m welcome with you. But I think…
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The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Charming
This one’s for every girl out there who’s still waiting for her Prince Charming to show up. Maybe he just got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions. Or maybe he doesn’t exist. But I can tell you who does exist. And believe me, he stands head and shoulders over His Highness. When we’re young, we are sold the idea of finding our Prince Charming. He has good looks and perfect mannerisms. Oh, and don’t forget that he’s wealthy. Some of us get older and abandon that idea for The Bad Boy. He’s sexier than the prince and oh-so-mysterious. He’s bad, but only until he meets us; then…
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Turn Down the Noise For a Peaceful 2021
The United Nations declared 2021 as the International Year of Peace and Trust. And as the International Year of Fruits and Vegetables. This “new year’s resolution” was profound for a hot minute, but now I feel like an investigative journalist on minutia. I like fruits and vegetables; they’re good for me and all. But if we’re measuring those against peace and trust, the P&T weighs in like a hippopotamus on a seesaw. I’m looking for a peaceful 2021. I have learned that the things to which we give our attention set our direction. And our direction determines our destination. I Learned This Lesson Early My husband, Bobby Martin, is a…